Many times, marriages are based on pragmatism, social and peer pressure, not having a clear idea of what really matters to us, and blindly following the societal script and parent’s expectations. These reasons are many, maturity is rarely one of them.
Maturity depends not on age alone but on our life experiences and how…
*we manage to work through them in a healthy manner
*self-aware we are regarding our triggers and own issues
*able we are to self-regulate
*We are capable to solve conflicts and disagreements and to respect each other as equals
*capable we are to self-analyze, learn, and grow
*we collaborate and compromise
*much we respect and prioritize not just the other person but the relationship per se
*we set healthy boundaries
*to give each other the space and freedom to be oneself
*we manage expectations – our own and others’
*well our life goals, values, and beliefs align
*decent we behave once the courtship is over
*we want to show up in the world as a human being
*well we are supported by society, family, and friends
*much we want this kind of lifestyle and social norm
*much we are able to keep things light having a good time together, making each other laugh and smile.
Altogether the maturity to know exactly what we want, who we are, and what is truly important to us individually and as a couple, and why.
The last bit is the most important one – to not throw your partner under the bus because things get challenging.
Work together as a team against the problems, and not against each other.
Also read: Do you know when you are lying to yourself?